My Journey with ADHD: A Life Unfolding

My story with ADHD began in February 2011. At the time, I was working as a psychiatric associate specialist in a community mental health team in Newham, London. I was 36 years old, and truth be told, I was quite chaotic. I struggled with routines that others seemed to manage effortlessly—maintaining friendships, relationships, enthusiasm for work, keeping schedules, and timekeeping. I had a natural tendency to seek excitement over tasks requiring sustained focus or formal/professional engagement with others.

Looking back, it’s obvious now: I had an undiagnosed and unrecognized ADHD brain, constantly searching for an escape from a world that felt rigid and overwhelming. Yet, there I was, working in psychiatric clinics, treating severely mentally ill patients—those with psychosis, schizophrenia, antisocial personality disorder, bipolar disorder, depression, and suicidality. I had been in psychiatry since 2001, but something felt off.

I found myself resonating with some of my patients' stories in ways I couldn’t quite understand. But in February 2011, I saw an advert in the British Journal of Psychiatry for a conference by the United Kingdom Adult ADHD Network (UKAAN). It was the first time I had ever seen a reference to adult ADHD in a medical publication.

I attended the conference. And in that moment, it hit me: Oh my God. I have ADHD. But alongside the realisation came a wave of denial. Yeah, I have it, but I can't have it. I’ve managed fine. I went to a decent school. I have a medical degree. I’m a doctor. I’m alright. I don’t need help.

But as the years passed, my life told a different story—failed relationships, periods of excess, chronic lateness, and an inability to control the chaos in my life. It never occurred to me that all of this could be ADHD-related. I was diagnosed late in life. Since being on treatment my life has change in ways i could not have predicted. It’s hard to express how much positive change there has been within me. I feel like me again, whole, with a purpose, and a sense that i can trust myself, to finish whatever it is i set out to achieve. And dealing with setbacks now…yea, whatever.

The Birth of Neurohaven

Why did I start this website? Because people like me—creative/neurodivergent/professional individuals—struggle to find the right information. Over the years, I’ve been through immense personal struggles: a familial breakdown, separation , navigating UK Family Law Courts, and the loss of a livelihood. And I believe all of it, in some way, was connected to my ADHD, or in the least, the stigma and ignorance surrounding Adult ADHD. But through these challenges, Neurohaven grew.

It has become a reflection of my own journey—my need to process, to share, to rebuild, and to help others understand the realities of ADHD in adulthood.

ADHD and the Struggles of Stigma

I was once called a 'Maverick' at work—a label that was meant to capture my unconventional, outside-the-box thinking, but in reality, it was used as a euphemism for being difficult or unpredictable. The truth is, many of us with ADHD don’t fit neatly into the expectations of traditional workplaces or institutions. We challenge norms, innovate, and disrupt in ways that make people uncomfortable. But that doesn’t mean we’re reckless or unreliable—it means we think differently, and that difference should be valued, not stigmatized.

I’ve faced stigma, even as a doctor. There’s an expectation that a medical professional should act and present themselves in a certain way. But I don’t fit the mold. I dress casually. I’m friendly and informal with my patients. And they love it. They relate to it. They see that I understand them—not just as a doctor, but as someone who has lived neurodivergence.

Hold My Beer! IMHO > Society hasn’t caught up with the science, and that’s why I created Neurohaven—to bridge that gap, and to help others find their peace.

A Global Perspective

Another glaring issue is the lack of awareness about female ADHD. Women and girls are often overlooked because they tend to present differently—less hyperactivity, more inattentiveness, more masking. Frequently misdiagnosed. Many go undiagnosed for decades, written off as anxious, sensitive, or just 'daydreamers.' The diagnostic criteria have historically been based on how ADHD presents in ‘Bouncing Off The Walls’ young boys, leaving countless women (and men) struggling in silence. This is a massive gap in both research and clinical practice, and it needs to change.

ADHD awareness in adults is growing, but it’s still largely unrecognized worldwide. Early estimates placed adult ADHD prevalence at 2.5%, then 3.5%, then 5%. Now, newer research suggests it could be 6.5%—perhaps even as high as 10% globally we may find. When we combine ADHD, dyslexia, and autism, and all the NDD’s,  we could be looking at 20% of the world’s population having a neuro disability. Yet, how many of these individuals even know they have these conditions?

The Bigger Mission

ADHD is not a disorder—it’s a different way of functioning. But because it remains undiagnosed in so many adults, it leads to significant life struggles, for both men and women who are simply trying to stay afloat in a neurotypical world. Unrecognized ADHD can lead to emotional dysregulation, impulsivity, and social struggles—traits that society often perceives as dangerous in men. For women, the re-occurring theme I have encountered in assessing hundreds of women with ADHD, is the feeling of being overlooked, ignored not listened to.  This is the fault of the medical community, there is no other explanation.

The stigma follows us, shaping how we’re treated and understood.

The world needs to change.

And that’s why I built Neurohaven.

For people like me. For those struggling in silence. For those who need a space where they can finally see themselves in the narrative.

This is my story. And this is why I’m here.

Alan